What a Difference a Year Makes!

Wow, it has been almost a year since I shared on my blog. I was so excited when I started it and was sure that I would stick to it. Blogs look so easy and fun. The truth is they take work and effort. This addict has never been a fan of work or effort! Add the demands of life on to my laziness and this blog went by the wayside quickly.

I started this blog to awaken my passion for 12 step work ... and it did. Now, a year later, I am a bit exhausted by 12 step work. Yes, rigorous work with another addict has helped me stay clean, but it has also at time sucked the life out of me! Now I realize that I cannot be Super Woman of Recovery. I'm looking for a balance. This balance is not only for me, but it is also for a prospect that I am working with. The biggest lesson I have learned this year is to get out of God's way. If I am busy saving the addict I may be preventing that addict from getting their opportunity to rely on God.

Golf is 12 Step Work??

There are two Golf Tournament Fund Raisers in the DFW area. If you are available to volunteer, sponsor, or even PLAY GOLF then check out these two pages.

Event:
Ebby's Place 1st Annual Golf Tournament

Date:
Friday November 19th, 2010

Location: Squaw Valley Golf Course
2439 E. Hwy 67
Glen Rose, Texas 76043

Benefiting:
Ebby's Place (Men's Transitional Living) in North Fort Worth. We are here to
carry a message of hope to the alcoholic/addict that needs safe, structured, sober
living. We offer transitional living at an affordable price as you begin your
recovery process. Our primary purpose is to assist the alcoholic/addict in the
transition from rehab to independent living.


Event:
Maggie’s 18th Annual Golf Tournament

Date:
Friday – October 22, 2010

Location:
Sherrill Park Golf Course (Course #1)
2001 E. Lookout Drive
Richardson, TX 75082

Benefiting:
The Magdalen House is an approved 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, which is affectionately called “Maggie’s”. The house was founded in 1987 by a group of recovering alcoholic women who saw the need for a women’s non-medical detox facility to serve the DFW Metroplex and surrounding areas. Since 1987, the primary mission of Maggie’s has been to provide a free, temporary residence in which to help women, detox from alcohol abuse. Maggie’s 14-day stay equips these women with the tools for living a life free of alcohol addiction. This facility is the first and only one of its kind in the DFW Metroplex are and continues to offer a safe, alcohol-free haven to more than 300 women in DFW every year.

The 12th Step Brought Me Back

Thank you to Jennifer J. for sharing this story with me.

After 2 years of sobriety I had gone into auto-pilot. Morning prayer and meditation, breakfast, work, 6 pm meeting, 10th step review, bed, repeat. I was sober and had not had a desire to use for a long time. I know my obsession with drugs and alcohol had lifted because God had lifted them. Even though I had that knowledge, I did not feel it. There was a time when I felt the presence of a Higher Power in my life, but it was no longer there. Despite my daily prayers and my attempts at meditation, I could not feel the presence of God. I was starting to think the whole thing was a scam. I was desperate when I was using. NA told me that a Higher Power would restore me to sanity. I grasped on to that and it worked. Now that I had overcome my addiction, I no longer needed all of that “crap”. I stopped praying. Why should I? I continued going to meeting because that is where all of my friends were. I found myself hanging around outside of the meeting and just chatting while drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. One day after work, while driving to my regular meeting, my car turned on its own into a bar. I sat in the parking lot and I was well aware of the consequences that stood on the other side of that door. I contemplated in my car for almost 30 minutes before I drove away and went straight home. I didn’t go to another meeting for 4 weeks. Within that time I became increasingly irritable. The smallest annoyances were really big deals. One day my boss reprimanded me for snapping at a co-worker. I was offended and at that moment I knew I needed a drink. A drink was harmless, legal, and at least it didn’t involve a needle. I got in my car and I cried and I headed home. My nights had turned into staying up late on the internet since I had given up my friends and wouldn’t answer their calls. So, that night, obsessed with the thought of a drink, I opened up my email. There was a letter from a friend asking me to go to a new meeting with her. Nothing was profound in that email, just the request for me to accompany her. The next day I did. I am not sure why. There was nothing that felt divine, I was not looking to be saved from my obsession. I just went. It turned out that we were not attending just any meeting, we were bringing a meeting to some women that were in an inpatient treatment center. What I heard in that room reminded me of where I had been, what addiction meant for me. The meeting was simple. We shared and we listened. By the time we left my obsession was gone. I went to my regular meeting the next day. I have returned to that women’s treatment center every week since then. That was 3 years ago. I am so grateful that I did not use. The only thing I can say is that God was doing for me what I could not do for myself. He kept me from picking up and he brought me to that treatment center. Twelve Step work has brought me back in to contact with God. I almost lost my recovery because I had neglected to do the 12th step. Now I work all of the steps and I am truly recovered.

The Smallest Twelfth Step Can Be the Biggest

This was shared with me by Martha S., an AA member.

Last month, August 7th, my husband, an AA member, went back into the hospital for several days because of more problems with his heart.
One of the fellows from Aquarius, Bill D., came over to our house the next day, the hottest day of the year at that time, and mowed our back yard, because my husband had mentioned to him that he didn't have time to do it before entering the hospital again.
To me, this is 12th step work at its finest. Edgar Watson Howe, the journalist, said "If your friend is in trouble, don't just annoy him by asking "is there anything I can do?". Think of something appropriate and do it.
My husband has been sober longer than Bill D. That makes no difference. What Bill D. did was give my husband a shot of encouragement that was sorely needed. Everyone, everyone needs someone to listen to them, and words and acts of encouragement.

What is a Big Book Militia?

My first blog is a brief interview with Ben P. Ben is an inspiration and a poster child for what God does in our lives when we let him. If you were to run into Ben at a meeting you would guess that he had double digit sobriety. The truth is that he just recently picked up a 1 year chip. Reminiscent of Bill W. And Dr. Bob themselves, Ben worked the steps quickly and immediately started living the 12th step. He does not shy away from letting people know that he is a recovered addict and his hand is always extended to help a fellow addict. Ben and some other like-minded men started carrying the message of Alcoholics Anonymous to rehabs, detox centers, and meetings. That group has been coined the Big Book Militia.


Q: I have been to a number of meetings where there are recovered addicts that have praised the BBM. What is all of this fuss about?

The fuss is actually excitement from RECOVERED people who have found freedom from the obsession to drink or use. That solution was carried to them straight out of the Big Book. The core people who call themselves the BBM have been around recovery for several years and never really had clear cut precise directions for getting recovered. So naturally when they found this solution, they are very excited.

Q: What does BBM stand for? Who came up with that name?

Big Book Militia.
One night while visiting an open discussion meeting, 5-6 men from Ebby’s Place (men’s sober house) were called out after the meeting by a newcomer. As usual we all rolled into the meeting with our big books and shared SOLUTION in the meeting. The newcomer laughingly called us the big book mafia. As the weeks went on it somehow turned into the Big Book Militia as a joke. A joke that we were very proud to be a part of.

Q: Exactly what does the BBM do and why?

All we try to do is follow the precise directions laid out in the Big Book. We are currently carrying that message to over 100 people weekly in our normal commitments. We do this because the big book is very clear as to how to maintain sobriety. A spiritual experience and part of that experience that insures sobriety is by working with new guys and or carrying the message. We have tried for years avoiding this and what we ended up avoiding was sobriety.

Q: What does the BBM mean to you personally?

The BBM has been an awesome group of people that are excited about being recovered. I am proud to be a part of this experience. Most people’s ideas of 12 step rooms are filled with smoke and crotchety old men. We are a far cry from that. We are young , very excited and even more passionate about the solution that was passed on to us from the Big Book.

Q: Anything you would like to add?

I’m not real thrilled about hearing talk or praise about the BBM in meetings. Just last week I had to tell to (some members) to tone it down a bit in the meeting. Outside of the meeting, hell yes we are the BBM and were damn proud of it. It has proved to be a conduit for getting the attention of people who are desperately seeking relief from the obsession to use or drink. All we are doing is carrying the message (the black letters) from the Big Book. Every person that affiliates himself or herself with the BBM, knows that their only hope is a spiritual experience as a result of working ALL 12 steps. I personally have 35 desire chips and have wasted 21 years of hearing opinions and clichés around our rooms and am proud to know without a shadow of doubt that this solution in the Big Book has saved my life. Hell yes I’m proud to be a part of the BBM, lives are being changed.

Q: I know that you are also the founder of Ebby's Place in Ft Worth, which is a sober living home for men struggling with addiction. How can we help with that?

We are currently having major financial difficulties. Seven weeks ago I walked away from a 15 year career to focus solely on the sober house. Watching men’s lives change right before my eyes has proved to be an experience that would be hard to put into words. We experienced several growing pains in the process of housing 13 men. The financial burden was caused by several decisions made to expand and it has left us in a huge need. We are asking for donations to help us get through this tough time. Part of this donation will go towards making us non-profit as this is our goal. The paperwork has already been taking care of, but we are short of the finances. Donations can be made thru PayPal at bsober@hotmail.com